I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize