Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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