you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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