Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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