butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
