True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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