He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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