mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize