am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
