Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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