Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Its about making memories worth repressing
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
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Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
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There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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