Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Randomize
