We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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