I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
