He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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