I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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