Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
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We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
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You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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