apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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