After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
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