Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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