I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
