Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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