do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
