either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
