By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
