This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
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he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
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I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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