I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm both gender and math confused
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
