While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You ruined the universe
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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