plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
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I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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