He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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