Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
