There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
