it hurts more in the daytime
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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