Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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