Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
