if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize