I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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