your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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