fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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