Your face is a jimmy john
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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