Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
