I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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