If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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