I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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