dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
