Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize