You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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