her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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