Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
