I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
two words: eviction party
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
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it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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