guys are not supposed to queef...right?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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