Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
