the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
