It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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