just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
