he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
