Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
