Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize