Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
