i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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