There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
