Its about making memories worth repressing
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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