Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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