Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
