I'm jealous of your bromance
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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