he wants to bone in the snuggie
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
